I'm a prime example of how if we put something off long enough it becomes so frightening to think about we cover it up with some dirty old blanket and hope it will either wend it's way into the ether or rot until it's unrecognizable!!

Such is the case with my blog entries and fat people!  Not necessarily one of my better analogies but it's about  the best you're going to get from a father who is managing to create energy from nothing.  I'm absolutely knackered from sleep deprivation.....but happier than I've ever been....from the same source - Quinlan.

I haven't written in close to a month.  And of course it means nothing to anyone except for myself.  It's quite interesting for me to sit here and prattle on about my life when I know intrinsically that I'm not having on impact on anyone as I do what I do, but I'm having a huge affect being the person that I'm being.  And looking back on my words makes it sound even more bizarre....

As I sit here and write I can feel some of the tension of my life slowly oozing away from my......oops.....this is where I have to call a daddy timeout from who  I'm being as an author to who I'm being as a dad....strike that last line.....and here's a brief explanation for the quizzical nature of my verbiage.....I'm downstairs and Quinlan is upstairs in his crib - or cot as I like to call it and Lisa doesn't necessarily care for......and I'm listening to him on the monitor.  And of course in my head I have this picture of my young son choking to death on his own puke!!!  So every time I hear any kind of noise from the monitor I'm ready to fly up the stairs and rescue him....but he stopped....and does that mean that he's choked and I've missed the opportunity......so do I now dash upstairs and see if I can revive him.....or do I wait for the next chirp from the monitor and chastise myself for being so paranoid!!!  And there you have the mindset of a first time father.....

phew....I think it's time for a nap!!!  The question du jour is 'will I continue being who I am right now, or will I regress?'  We shall see.....